Giving Honor

“Old age is no place for sissies,” quipped Bette Davis. Having witnessed the later years of many people I love, I have to agree. The struggles of aging require grit, patience, resolve, and stamina.

My in-laws are facing some challenges right now, prompting me to reflect not only on the aging process but also on the incredible people they are. The phrase that kept echoing in my mind yesterday was “give honor where honor is due.” So I wanted to take a few moments to do just that.

I’ve never liked mother-in-law jokes. I simply can't relate. From the beginning, both of my in-laws have loved me with an intensity that rivals that of my own parents. I was treated with respect and kindness from day one, and I hope I’ve returned that same love and honor to them.

Never have I been treated like an “in-law.” From the moment I said “I do,” I was welcomed as a daughter into the Alden clan. I became one of the “kids,” prayed for daily and included fully.

My in-laws set the tone for what family commitment looks like. In the early years, we gathered twice a week for meals. As life got busier, we scaled back to once a week, but that time has remained cherished. Sunday lunch has become synonymous with Nanny and Grandpa.

Of course, there have been disagreements and frustrations over the years, but forgiveness is always extended quickly. Love and intentionality in relationship have remained the driving force.

They are also remarkably generous people—whether with their time, meals, or resources. If they have something a family member needs, it’s given without hesitation. This has made a strong impression on me. I’ve tried to mirror their example and hope that my children and their future spouses will one day feel the same way about us.

There is so much I’ve learned from my in-laws, and there’s no doubt that many important lessons are still to come. I am so thankful to be their daughter and to have gained an extra set of parents. I am truly blessed.