Pasta before Thanksgiving
Have you ever seen someone make pasta from scratch? The dough is soft and fresh and malleable. Depending on what type of pasta it is to become, it will either be rolled out, put through a press or squeezed into shape. Then, unless it's to be immediately consumed, it's put out to dry. It can be softened once again, but it will require a bath in boiling water.
I woke up at 3:30 am thinking about pasta. It's not that I was hungry (well I was, but not for pasta) but I sometimes get these word pictures floating around my brain that seem to accurately depict a season of my life.
Leaving radio 4 months ago was the most difficult professional decision I had ever made. It put me through the press, and I was shaped into something new. My substance hadn't changed, but through pressure, I became a shape that was completely different. I somehow made it through, and now I find myself drying and waiting.
The thing about dried pasta, is that's it's fragile. It's not really edible until cooked, and so until you have the time to create something with it, it just sits in the pantry. In the case of elbow macaroni, it might be glued to a piece of cardboard and then spray painted gold, later to be presented to a mother or grandmother for Christmas as a picture frame. Aside from those few lucky noodles that get to be beautiful in the hands of a pre-schooler, the rest of us pasta must sit and wait until the fateful day we get plunged into a pot of boiling water.
I've written before about seasons of waiting. They are all difficult. But now, I find myself waiting while being unusually fragile. My ideas haven't yet brought in the cash flow. Several people don't like me or my decisions. I can't get the traction I need. I'm responsible for an organization. Work is exciting and hard and scary all at the same time. Like a dry spaghetti, it doesn't take much to break me these days.
Yet, I am thankful. I'm thankful that my God leads me and guides me. I'm thankful that my husband supports me. I'm thankful for my children. I'm thankful for the love and council of friends and family. I'm thankful for a Board of Directors that "have my back". Mostly, I'm thankful that this hard, dry and brittle place I find myself in, won't last.
What comes next is pretty intimidating. Most people don't want to be thrown into the fire. But, without that boiling water that is necessary to soften the pasta, it just sits there, unused. I want to be of use. So, I timidly look forward to being created into something exquisite in the hands of the Master Chef.